Welcome to Trevor Kwan’s Writing Blog for Semester 2!

Welcome to my blog! The bar at the very top is alphabetically categorized for your viewing pleasure. There are a total of 5 famous poems and 5 original poems, each with their own analysis. There are also 3 additional writing pieces from semester 2. Each post is comes to life with several colorful pictures. Enjoy!

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Welcome to Trevor Kwan’s Writing Blog!

There are three ways for you to admire my amazing pieces of writing because three is the magic number. The bar at the very top lets you separate each masterpiece into gloriously crafted pages. The bar on the left allows you to marvel at every masterpiece split into unique categories only for your viewing pleasures. And you can even scroll straight down for all my pieces of writing if you feel the consistent urge to spasmodically move your finger. Occasionally you may come across beautiful pictures specially put in place for all you visual learners out there. I have included both generalized reflections of the writing process and several specific reflections on peer feedback.

College Writing Unit Reflection and Response

Trevor Kwan

December 14, 2013

College Writing Unit Reflection and Response

 

  1. Include the link to your blog here:

https://trevorwritingmasterkwan.wordpress.com/

  1. Which of your pieces was the most challenging to write? Give three reasons and explain.

The most challenging piece to write was the persuasive research paper. This is because I am a kind of person that could care less for a lot of things in life. But in order to write an effective persuasive research paper, I had to carefully select a topic that I could elaborate on and relate to. Then I had to make myself care about what I was writing about when I really would rather be doing something else. In addition to that, I also prefer to read fiction books. I almost never read non-fiction books unless it is the school textbook. But in order to write the persuasive research paper, I needed to read from a non-fiction book. So writing about my interest in a non-fiction book that I was not particularly interested in proved to be quite a challenge. Another reason why it was hard for me was because it was hard to find the balance between the seriousness of the research paper and the enthusiastic voice of a persuasive paper.

  1. Which of your pieces was the most enjoyable to write?  Give three reasons and explain.

The piece that was the most enjoyable to write had to be the quick write by far. I feel that the quick write does not limit your writing potential in any way. You are basically free to write whatever you want. As for me, I do not like to write boring serious research papers, but I like to write humorous ones. So I had a lot of fun adding humor to the quick write because making people laugh is always a joy. Another reason why the quick write was so enjoyable was because a quick write would mean that you did not have to write too much. In some of the other essays, I felt that my content wasn’t enough and was forced to spew out more information to compensate for that. In my quick write, the amount of writing needed was perfect for me.

  1. What are your strengths and weaknesses as a writer?  Explain.

I know that I am not a naturally born gifted writer but I do have a few strengths and weaknesses. I believe that my strength in writing is in my humor. As Mr. Nollan would say, you have to make your reader want to read your writing. I have found out that my peers only want to read my writing because they find some of it humorous and enjoyable to read. A weakness of mine is that sometimes I tend to transition from a brilliant style to a boring style which I feel inclined to give a bunch of information just like in the college essay.

  1. What have you done to develop your strengths and minimize your weaknesses as a writer? How successful do you feel you have been?  Explain.

In order to develop my strengths, I try to let my humor thrive as much as possible, although Mr. Nollan once said that humor is a dangerous thing. If people found things funny then it would be successful but humor that isn’t funny could lead to bad results. Nonetheless, I try to add humor so I can make my reader want to read my paper and I try to minimize the boring stuff to minimize my weakness and let my strengths shine. I feel that I am relatively successful and have improved in some of my writings. I remember before when I wrote an essay that was too serious and boring I got a bad grade. But recently I have written a humorous and enjoyable piece of writing and got a better grade. My writing is steadily improving.

  1. What kind of future career or field of study are you considering?  What kinds of writing might be important in this career or field? Explain, giving specific examples.

I actually don’t know what I want to do for the future, anything can happen. But I am considering pursuing Physics and Calculus. In Calculus, writing actually isn’t very important because most things are mathematical, unless I need to communicate my mathematic discoveries with writing. In Physics, I may often need to type lab reports and write about them. I can apply what I have learned in college writing to physics lab reports or reporting new discoveries in the area of Physics. I can make reports and writings sound a lot more interesting than they really are even for people who don’t do Physics.

  1. What advice would you offer the College Writing teachers as they plan this unit for next year? What might be some additional pieces of writing to add and why? How was the timing and pacing? Did you receive enough feedback? Did you receive enough instruction and input so you knew how to do each assignment? You can make specific comments about specific assignments here. What did you like or not like and why? What would make this unit more student-friendly, provide more learning, or make it more interesting?  Explain.

For next year College Writing, I would advise the teachers to continue to let the students do more quick writes because it is the freedom of writing that enables the student to discover their potentials in a more effective way. You could add a piece of writing that requires the student to put a humorous element in the writing so that writing would be fun and enjoyable to read. I think the timing and pacing was not fine for me, but I think it is just because of how I write. There were times where I had absolutely nothing to do and other times where I had to spend a long time working. The times where I had to spend the most time was when I was doing the rough drafts. When I do the rough draft, it basically becomes 95% of my final copy. So the next class of peer editing and doing the actually final copy I didn’t really have to do anything. Also, I have to admit that the peer editing did not help me at all. Most of my peers don’t know what they are writing about in the comments and the very few that do usually don’t try. I also did not receive enough instruction and input so that I knew how to do each assignment. I thought the instructions were vague and too generalized from what was really specifically expected. For example, if you were supposed to write a college essay, the instructions were basically “write a college essay”. This didn’t teach me how to write a college essay but it instructed me to do so and my grade reflected my inability to perceive what a college essay was. Aside from the lack of teaching and instruction, I did like the amount of free time that was given. Although the free time sometimes gave me incentive to be unproductive, it gave me adequate time to work so I wouldn’t fall behind on things. I felt that the unit was already very student-friendly and interesting because of the stories that Mr. Nollan sometimes tells. We would sometimes just talk about random other stuff instead of focusing on the boring aspects of writing which made the class enjoyable and interesting.

Quick Write Rough Draft

Trevor Kwan

November 26, 2013

Quick write Rough Draft

        Contrary to the popular belief on my courageous, valiant, and brave qualities, I am actually a coward. Like a finely toasted cream cheese bagel, I am tough and confident on the outside, but soft and weak on the inside. Although I have no greatest fear, I do have numerous great fears, but only one of them is worth mentioning. This fear has pained me ever since the beginning. It has jeopardized my desire to live, and has brought about terror to all of mankind.

I fear the mushroom. Never has such a repugnant substance been devoured by so many. Some decide to boil it, others fry it, and there are some that eat it raw. Its’ gruesome shape and hideous color only adds to its’ bland taste. The mushroom is the reason why I detest vegetables. It is the reason why some pizzas should never be eaten. It is disgusting on the outside, and disgusting on the inside.

I was seven years old when I encountered my first great challenge. I was situated at the dinner table, obediently awaiting orders to begin my consumption of food. When the feast had begun, my eager eyes locked in on the plate of chicken. With quick thinking, I greedily snatched several pieces of the tender meat and heartily gobbled up each and every morsel. My mother attacked with perfect timing. As I ate chicken to my heart’s content, I was introduced to a new kind of substance which they called a mushroom. Deceptively harmless, the deadly fungus seemed welcoming. She urged me to eat it, shoving the plate of mushrooms in my face until I surrendered, leaving me no other choice but to try it.

At first, the taste was so bland that I thought I was chewing plastic. Then it hit me. It was not sweet. It was not bitter. Worse, it tasted like a mushroom. It drained my mental strength as I willed my jaws to move up and down. It was very chewy; I could not get rid of it. I struggled in agony until it was finally demolished and the remains plunged into my stomach.

The mushroom continues to haunt me to this very day. I cannot read a Biology book without facing its horrific image. I cannot eat a pizza without stripping it free of fungus. And I cannot simply eat KFC gravy mushroom rice. You ask me what I fear.   I fear the mushroom.

Quick Write Peer Editing

Ernest:
Ideas content and organization

idea is original, content was witting and swift and organization was smooth between paragraphs
9/10

Cho:
Word Choice/Voice
On a scale of a worm that grows out of your butt to a lion equipped with a turtle shell covered with missiles, I give this paper a penguin that sings Justin Timberlake songs. So you can say it is pretty good. Maybe around an 8.
Alright I have a problem with the very first sentence. Courageous, valiant, brave. If you are going to list words in three’s I think it is better to use three words that are somewhat different from another. Courageous, valiant, brave all means the same thing! I don’t like your use of the word repugnant. I believe that there are better words to use for that sentence. Change Biology BOOK to TEXTBOOK. YEAH ‘CUZ I SAID SO. FUNGUS TO FUNGI.
Your voice is definitely present in this paper. The classic Trevor analogies are here, such as the cream bagel analogy. Furthermore, I can certainly tell it is your writing because of your use of overdramatic vocab words. WHICH IS NOT A BAD THING. You know why? CUZ IT ADDS HUMOR THATS WHY. Sorry, I got too excited.

sentence fluency
ernest tse
10/10
sentences flowed like a river
transitions were smooth as silk
good job

Huddie ❤ – 10/10

Mechanics

Great mechanics! Just make sure you go over sentences and how they flow. There is a slight excessive use of full stops near the end, so maybe switch some to commas. Other than that, it’s a great piece of writing.

It made me laugh a lot thanks Rocketboy 🙂

I also like your intro into your first and then your second paragraph 🙂

Quick Write Final Copy

Trevor Kwan

November 26, 2013

Quick write Final Copy

        Contrary to the popular belief regarding my courageous, valiant, and brave-like qualities, I am actually a coward. Like a finely toasted cream cheese bagel, I am tough and confident on the outside, but soft and weak on the inside. Although I have no greatest fear, I do have numerous great fears, but only one of them is worth mentioning. This fear has pained me ever since the beginning. It has jeopardized my desire to live, and has brought about terror to all of mankind.

 

I fear the mushroom. Never has such a repugnant substance been devoured by so many. Some decide to boil it, others fry it, and there are those that eat it raw. Its’ gruesome shape and hideous color only adds to its’ bland taste. The mushroom is the reason why I detest vegetables. It is the reason why some pizzas should never be eaten. It is disgusting on the outside, and disgusting on the inside.

 

I was seven years old when I encountered my first great challenge. I was situated at the dinner table, obediently awaiting orders to begin my consumption of food. When the feast had begun, my eager eyes locked in onto the plate of chicken. With quick thinking, I greedily snatched several pieces of the tender meat and heartily gobbled up each and every morsel. My mother attacked with perfect timing. As I ate chicken to my heart’s content, I was introduced to a new kind of substance which they called a mushroom. Deceptively harmless, the deadly fungus seemed welcoming. She urged me to eat it, shoving the plate of mushrooms in my face until I surrendered, leaving me no other choice but to try it.

 

At first, the taste was so bland that I thought I was chewing plastic. Then it hit me. It was not sweet. It was not bitter. Worse, it tasted like a mushroom. It drained my mental strength as I willed my jaws to move up and down. It was very chewy; I could not get rid of it. I struggled in agony until it was finally demolished and the remains plunged deep into my stomach.

 

The mushroom continues to haunt me to this very day. I cannot read a Biology textbook without facing its horrific image. I cannot eat a pizza without stripping it free of fungus. And I cannot simply eat a bowl of KFC gravy mushroom rice. You ask me what I fear. I fear the mushroom.

Persuasive Research Paper Outline

Trevor Kwan

December 3, 2013

Persuasive Research Paper Outline

Thesis Statement: A well rested human brain with an adequate amount of sleep will always have the greater potential to maximize its’ contemplative capabilities than one that lacks sleep, because the amount of sleep you receive strongly impacts the way you think.

Introduction: Most teenagers of our generation fail to recognize the importance of sleep.

First Point: A short nap during the midday can significantly boost your performance on upcoming activities. (book source)

Second Point: Health problems such as high blood pressure, weight gain, and less immune system power can be attributed to an individual’s lack of sleep. (news article)

Third Point: Sleep tends to improve memory and plays an essential role in retaining information learnt throughout the day.

Conclusion: Teenagers of our generation should learn to recognize the value of sleep and give their brains adequate rest to function in a superior manner.

Bibliography:

“New Releases.” Importance of Sleep : Six Reasons Not to Scrimp on Sleep. N.p., n.d. Web. 01 Dec. 2013.

Medina, John. Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School. Seattle, WA: Pear, 2008. Print.

“Sleep, Learning, and Memory.” Healthy Sleep. N.p., n.d. Web. 04 Dec. 2013.

“10 Facts About Memory.” About.com Psychology. N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Dec. 2013.

Persuasive Research Paper Peer Editing

Simeon
Ideas/Content: 9
Organization: 8

Great ideas, amusing anecdote. No conclusion, yet. Perhaps you can separate your supporting points into more organized paragraphs.

Justin Chang
Sentence fluency: 8
this paper’s fluency is pretty good! just reading this once I sense no real problems. However, if you could just read it over again. it’ll be great.

Word choice: 10
you have the dictionary in you bro! but some words like clueless=blank

Jonathan Ho

mechanics:
use “its” instead of “it’s” in “potential to maximize its’ contemplative” in your first paragraph
use “Psalm” not “Psalms”

Your voice is strong, and I can see the passion you have for the paper. However, the second and third paragraph are kind of unrelated, and you switch between ideas too quickly. I think if you add some transition it will be better. Also, your main thesis seems unclear. Maybe add some more to it so that the thesis is more arguable/debatable.

Other than that, the other stuff is good. I like the personal example, but make sure the examples are related to your topic and you explain why.

Persuasive Research Paper Rough Draft

Trevor Kwan

December 5, 2013

Persuasive Research Paper Rough Draft

           It feels like death, but it keeps you alive. We don’t want it, but we need it. It takes us to places we could never be without it. Most teenagers of our generation fail to recognize the importance of sleep. A well-rested human brain with an adequate amount of sleep will always have the greater potential to maximize its’ contemplative capabilities than one that lacks sleep, because the amount of sleep you receive strongly impacts the way you think. Naptimes are needed during the midday to effectively aid your thinking process. Adequate amounts of sleep prevent numerous health problems. And a good night’s rest actually improves your memory.

For as long as we are alive, a ferocious battle between two armies continues to rage on within each and every one of us. One army is the Process C, or the circadian arousal system. If they always had their way, you would be eternally awake. The other army is the Process S, or the homeostatic sleep drive. If they always had their way, you would fall into eternal slumber. The longer you are awake with Process C being victorious, the more likely Process S would take over. And the longer you are asleep with Process S being victorious, the more likely Process C would take over. However, studies show that when you chart the C and S curves, both lines appear flat during the afternoon. This is the time period where the battle has reached the stage of climax. From the chart data we can conclude with this. A short nap during the midday can significantly boost your mental performance. In one NASA study, it showed that a twenty-six minute nap boosted a pilot’s performance by over thirty-four percent. Another study showed that a forty-five minute nap similarly boosted the pilot’s performance but it lasted for a whooping six hours. Although different people have their own preferences on when they desire to sleep, the biological desire for an afternoon nap is considered natural.

           My grandmother has always been there for me. When I was young, she spoke to me when I felt lonely. She fed me when I was hungry. And she protected me when I felt threatened. But our time on earth is limited; we cannot live forever. Right now, my grandmother is struggling with a large number of diseases, some which include high blood pressure and thinking disorders. Psalms 4:8 states, “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” When I think of this verse, I encourage my grandmother to rest often. So that she may experience momentary peace before she has to suffer through another day. Health problems such as high blood pressure, weight gain, and less immune system power can be attributed to an individual’s lack of sleep. Sleeping will shield you from the horrors of high blood pressure. It will defend you from the evils of overweight. And it will oppose the deadly dangers of cancer. So sleep, if you want to live a little longer.

           I contemplated over the numbers until I was dead clueless. “Ernest, do you have any twos?” I asked in desperate anticipation. He smiled in wicked joy, whispering the two words I never thought he’d say, “Go Fish.” And the game was over. If only I had slept more, I would have crushed him swiftly. I regret my stupidity to this very day. Not only does sleep save you from diseases, it also saves our memory. Sleep tends to improve our memory and plays an essential role in retaining information learnt throughout the day. I still remember that one morning. It was a bright and sunny morning when I had sluggishly arrived at school. I hobbled over to the cafeteria, half dead, and breathlessly ordered my breakfast. But even at this darkest hour, my brain decided to fail me. I could not remember my order. Was it the bagel or the ham and cheese grill? It was then that the well-rested and sleep-filled lunch lady came to my rescue. I gratefully accepted the cream-cheese bagel and ate to my heart’s content.

          

Teenagers of our generation should learn to recognize the value of sleep and give their brains adequate rest to function in a more superior manner. (finish conclusion)

Persuasive Research Paper Final Copy

Trevor Kwan

December 5, 2013

Persuasive Research Paper Final Copy

           It feels like death, but it keeps you alive. We don’t want it, but we need it. It takes us to places we could never be without it. Most teenagers of our generation fail to recognize the importance of sleep. A well-rested human brain with an adequate amount of sleep will always have the greater potential to maximize its’ contemplative capabilities than one that lacks sleep, because the amount of sleep you receive strongly impacts the way you think. Adequate amounts of sleep prevent numerous health problems. Naptimes are needed during the midday to effectively aid your thinking process. And a good night’s rest actually improves your memory.

For as long as we are alive, a ferocious battle between two armies continues to rage on within each and every one of us. One army is the Process C, or the circadian arousal system. If they always had their way, you would be eternally awake. The other army is the Process S, or the homeostatic sleep drive. If they always had their way, you would fall into eternal slumber. The longer you are awake with Process C being victorious, the more likely Process S would take over. And the longer you are asleep with Process S being victorious, the more likely Process C would take over. However, studies show that when you chart the C and S curves, both lines appear flat during the afternoon. This is the time period where the battle has reached the stage of climax. From the chart data we can conclude with this. A short nap during the midday can significantly boost your mental performance. In one NASA study, it showed that a twenty-six minute nap boosted a pilot’s performance by over thirty-four percent. Another study showed that a forty-five minute nap similarly boosted the pilot’s performance and it lasted for a whooping six hours. Although different people have their own preferences on when they desire to sleep, the biological desire for an afternoon nap is considered natural.

           My grandmother has always been there for me. When I was young, she spoke to me when I felt lonely. She fed me when I was hungry. And she protected me when I felt threatened. But our time on earth is limited; we cannot live forever. Right now, my grandmother is struggling with a large number of diseases, some of which include high blood pressure and thinking disorders. Psalms 4:8 states, “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” When I think of this verse, I encourage my grandmother to rest often, so that she may experience momentary peace before she has to suffer through another day. Health problems such as high blood pressure, weight gain, and less immune system power can be attributed to an individual’s lack of sleep. Sleeping will shield you from the horrors of high blood pressure. It will defend you from the evils of overweight. And it will oppose the deadly dangers of cancer. So sleep, if you want to live a little longer.

           I contemplated over the numbers until I was dead clueless. “Ernest, do you have any twos?” I asked in desperate anticipation. He smiled in wicked joy, whispering the two words I’d never thought he’d say, “Go Fish.” And the game was over. If only I had slept more, I would have crushed him swiftly. I regret my stupidity to this very day. Not only does sleep save you from diseases, it also saves our memory. Sleep tends to improve our memory and plays an essential role in retaining information learnt throughout the day. I still remember that one morning. It was a bright and sunny morning when I had sluggishly arrived at school. I hobbled over to the cafeteria, half dead, and breathlessly ordered my breakfast. But even at this darkest hour, my brain decided to fail me. I could not remember my order. Was it the bagel or the ham and cheese grill? It was then that the well-rested and sleep-filled lunch lady came to my rescue. I gratefully accepted the cream-cheese bagel and ate to my heart’s content.

Teenagers of our generation should learn to recognize the value of sleep and give their brains adequate rest to function in a more superior manner. Not only does sleep enhance your mental capabilities, it also beautifies your physical appearance. Just by sleeping enough, you can look smarter and think smarter! There are way too many advantages in having a good night’s rest. Sleep will save you from agonizing health issues. It will allow your brain to remind you of knowledge that is ever so crucial. And it will bolster your mind to triumph above countless others.